Meet JOMAR.
He was alme. (Had twisted foot).
He had hundreds of little wounds.
His skin was dry and flaky.
His hair was filled with lice.
He was incredibly dirty.
He was so thin.
He cursed a thousand times a day.
He had a nasty personality.
We found him on a sidewalk. He lived there all his life. Jeepney drivers would toss him pieces of bread. One day, a jeepney ran over his foot and crushed it-thus, he twisted foot.
Do you know that the volunteers of Anawim did? (Note: Anawim is a ministry for the poorest of the poor. they house them in a five hectare compund in Montalban Rizal).
They bathed him. Removed the lice. Dressed his wounds.
But he keep on cursing.
They continued to love him. Treated him as a human being.
They scolded him. Reprimanded him. He cursed them everytime they did.
Today, after ten years, Jomar still lives in Anawim.
But you won't recognized him.
The anger and scowl on his face are gone.
He's the joy of the whole community.
He makes everyone laugh. His mental age has gone up to six years old.
He does'nt curse anymore. He just sings! And laughs!
He's changed.
why?
He had friends who loved him.
I believe there are many JOmars around us. (In needs of friends. In needs of love. Without family.)
FAmily means the relationships you have in your life. it includes:
.Your family
.The saints
.Your friends
.Your community
.The entire catholic church
.Your mentors
.Your peers
.Your desciples.
Yes, we need one another.
St. Paul says, "The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need youZ!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!' On the contrary, those parts of the body seem to be weaker are indispensable" (1 Cprithians 12:21-22
FRIENDSHIP ARE ESSENTIAL TO LIFE
"After DAvid had finished talking to Saul, Jonathan became one in Spirit with DAvid, and He loved him as himself."(1 Samuel 18:1)
We need friends.
if you're married, I pray your spouse is your best friend. But also hope that your spouse isn't your only friend. No matter how perfect your husband or wife is, that person can't fulfill all your needs.
If i'm the only friend my wife has, she'll try to get all her joy from me. And that will drain me dry. The expectations are just too much.
I thank God for the friends that my wife has. Her female friends are a source of joy and strenght to her--and to our marriage.
FRIENDSHIP ARE ESSENTIAL TO THE SPIRITUAL LIFE
If you want to grow in your spiritual life, you also need friends.
Why?
Because you need to be acountable.
Because like everyone else, you have blind spots.
And your friends are the only ones who can spot them--and share them with you. And they can also support you to change your life.
Choose at least one other person (preferably two or three) with whom you will meet regularly. Call it your caring group, support group or whatever. Just be accountable to them for your actions since the last time you met.
Let me tell you a story.
Paul had a problem with cursing. He had always wanted to change. So Paul confessed his problem to Roger. Roger suggested a way to help him stop cursing. Every week , he should count the number of times he curses-and give P5 to the love offering basket in the prayer meeting for every curse word.
So one prayer meeting, he gave P100.
The next prayer meeting, he gave P80.
The next prayer meeting. He gave P100 again.
Paul was getting discouraged.
Roger was inspired. He said, :Paul, next week, were changing arrangements. It'll cost you more and it'll cost you less. But i won't tell you what it is. Trust me."
The following prayer meeting, before the love offering basket was passed around, Roger went to Paul and said, "How much will you give?" He said "I failed 20 times again this week. I'm giving P100.
Roger said, "Don't give the P100."
Paul said, "Huh?"
Roger said, "This is the new deal. I will pay the P100." He pulled out his wallet and pulled P100, and dropped it into the basket. "Sin still cost you, but it's now free, because someone is paying for you. Jesus paid for your sins--and I'm now Jesus to you. Next week, more grace is available."
The following prayer meeting, Roger had to pay P40 for Paul's cursing.
The following prayer meeting, Roger ddn't have to pay anything anymore. Paul stopped cursing. It was too painful for him that someone was paying for his sins.
My friends, that's friendship.
WHAT TO DO WITH DIFFICULT FRIENDS
1. Don't receive their garbage.
One day, a friend was dumping her garbage at me. She said, "Youre the reason for all my problems. You're not a real friend. You were not there for me when..."
On and on, the monologue and tears continued.
It was the fifth time she was telling this to me.
At the start, i was very apologetic. I would ask forgiveness. I would ask how she wanted me to treat her next time.
I felt bad that i hurt someone.
But as the months went by and she kept giving me these drama scenes, i finally realized that i was'nt the problem. She was the problem. Her expectations of me were so high, so demanding, i simply could'nt give them to her. (Actuall, no human being would be able to fulfill her expectations).
She made me her messiah. She wanted me to save her life.
So i finally said, "I can't play the role you want me to play. I'm sorry." I told ehr about her insecurities that was driving all her friends away.
Obviously, she became more histerical.
But from that day on, I no longer accepted her garbage. I was set free.
We still meet once in a while, but i could no longer be manipulated by her tantrums and guilt-trips.
2. Correct major sins but accept idiosyncrasies.
We should'nt tolerate major sins in our loved ones.
But when it comes to little weaknesses and quirks, we should be more forgiving.
I met a woman who was irritated by her husbands disorderliness.
Her husband was a good man. He worked hard and was a good father to the kids.
But his weakness: he was not very neat at home. He left his clothes everywhere. He liked watching tv on the couch when the entire living room was a mess.
Because of her irritations, she never liked serving him in little things. Sometimes, he'd ask her to give him a little massage. Or prepare his favorite snack.
She simply told him, "Im busy. Do it yourself."
One day , after my talk, this woman came up to me and said, "Bro. Bo, your talk was beautiful. It made me want to serve my husband."
Then big drops of tears fell from her eyes.
"Two months ago, " she said, "we discovered he had cancer. One month later, he died. Bro. Bo, I want to serve my husband. But i can't anymore."
Sometimes, we can get oo focused on the little weaknesses of our friends we don;t see their big strengths..
THEY ARE YOUR WEALTH.
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